tell your sister to shave her snatch
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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