i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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