My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
