I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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