A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
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Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
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Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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