Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
