Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
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