I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
