weddingsv make me drug and hornr
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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