I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
