If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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