My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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