I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
