I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
