Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
