my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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