well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
