New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize