Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Randomize
