i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
