I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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