ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
