I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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