i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
