I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
