I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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