TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
