and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I need a beard to bite.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
