it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
