After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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