I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Randomize
