who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
