I bet he comes in French.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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