this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
