it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Terrible idea I love it
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
