I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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