so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Randomize
