I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Nicole vs. Life
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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