i permit you to call me
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
