Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
