Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actions speak louder than pants.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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