i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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