I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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