suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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