What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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