I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize