My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Randomize
