Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize