so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
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He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
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