im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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