Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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