please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Randomize
