haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
