eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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