I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Randomize
