dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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