dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
