If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Randomize
